Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in Monica Anne's LiveJournal:

Sunday, April 30th, 2006
11:00 pm	blah blah russ and are arent together. but he still talks to me and he keeps apologizing for what he did. ugh. CONFUSION. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 27th, 2006
8:17 pm	Russ came over today...we did the usual. Show in Hoxie on Friday at 5. Its going to be chill everyone should go. I'm taking ap us history next year. I smell like russ. haha. people checked otu my bum in my new pants today. haha cough cough amanda. It takes me like 50 min to get ready for school (including shower). I found out what Russ wanted for his bday...he's not getting that. I forgot to bring my homework home. Papa is still in iowa...I'm starting to like him not being here. haha. Its peacefull, and clean.. Oh by the way...my room is STILL clean. haha you all know how messy I am. I'm proud of myself. I'm going to go take another shower...my 3rd one for today...god I'm ocd. oh I'm going back to the doctor for a mental evaluation. He is going to make sure that I am bi-polar so he can put me on a bunch of pills. damn conspiricy.hahaha I've got batman socks from the little boys section. they even have the little gripper things on the bottom...like footies. aww. I love them. I think I will be attending Russ's church on wendsday...not quite sure though. everyone add my myspace: http://www.myspace.com/monica72404 Current Mood: tired Current Music: she dies in december (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 19th, 2006
1:16 pm	I think I am ocd. I cant wear matching socks because It would kill me if one was more faded than the other. I count EVERYTHING. I take between 2 and 4 showers a day. I have to always have chapstick on. my pen (blue) has to always be on the right margin of my paper with the nub on the cap touching the paper on the left. I cant tear my paper out. I often rewrite my notes for classes because they arent neat enough. I brush my teeth ALOT. I wont leave the house unless I have showered in the last couple of hours. and like a million other things. I'm paranoid end of story. ergh. oh and when russ comes over...I have to be on the left side...then the right side. I have to sleep on my left side with my left arm under the pillow. I have to wear a neclace to play with otherwise I fidget alot. Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: terror. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 18th, 2006
3:20 pm	I dont give a shit about anyone, not even myself most of the time. I'm fine with that though. I dont like it when Russ touches me anymore. I am thinking about breaking up with him... all because of something that someone that I TRUSTED did one night. Yup. It was really fucked up. And because he did that...I dont trust anyone..not even my own boyfriend. fuck. but of course I'm not going to tell anyone cause then I would be starting shit. SO I'll just keep it to myself...and I will continue to freak out whenever my boyfriend tries to kiss me. wtf. I'm going to some show tonight...not sure which one... I dont really care either. I'm such a liar. I suck. I'm done. I yelled at nana quite a few times today. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 14th, 2006
5:23 pm	I'm going over to Russ's house for dinner. His mom and stepdad want to meet me. haha. ergh. I'm nervous. At least I smell good. haha. ergh. I get really stressed out now. I dont know why. But I do. I freak out over little things. I get fustrated and start yelling at the people trying to help me. I'm sewing a pillow for mrs lackeys class....ergh. I dont like sewing but I think I'm good at it...cause she said so and she wants me to do more stuff. ergh ergh ergh. I talked to andy this morning. I think I still like him...which sucks. I have a wonderfull boyfriend...but I'm still getting over my ex....STILL. wtf? well I'm going to go make sure I dont look as crappy as I feel. haha. <3 Monica Current Music: bleed the dream (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 11th, 2006
5:29 pm	Russ was over for a real long time last night. we fell asleep...cecilia called and woke us up. ERGH. lol. I'm bored. Its hot. I'm going to the Gazer show tonight...even though I hate gazer. my hair still isnt dry. my room isnt messy. i'm not bored..but I have nothing to do. ugh. I hate corn Current Music: In Flames (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 9th, 2006
6:45 am	Sometimes, I like being alone. I like when there is no one with me. I like just being by myself. Sometimes, I get really pissed off at my GOOD friends for no apparent reason. Sometimes, I try and evaluate my life to see how bad things really do suck. Sometimes, I wish I was still with Andy, then I realize what a jerk he really is. Sometimes, I sleep all day to make myself feel better. Sometimes, When I dont feel good I dont eat for a long time and it scares my grandma. Sometimes, I pray. Sometimes, I tell everyone that everything is ok. Sometimes, I just want to be held. Alot of the time, I'm happy and things couldnt be better. Current Music: Dont Die Cindy -unlcothed and honest (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 7th, 2006
6:42 pm	love (1 Comment |Comment on this)
3:49 pm	So pretty much I've been thinking about and texting Russ all day. I'm bothered that a certain friend of mine is dropping out. I know its the responsible thing to do, but I am scared that he is ruining his future. Ugh. If you know what and who I'm talking about please dont use names. I like stale popcorn. "He wore his happiness like a mask and the girl had run off across the lawn with the mask and there was no way of going to knock on her door and ask for it back." -Farenheit 451 Current Music: bedlight for blue eyes (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 4th, 2006
11:57 am	RIP devin and matt. Russ and I are together. I'm glad. I need to clean my room. Or I cant go to the show tonight. Andy gave me mean looks last night when he saw me with russ. Owell. Current Mood: calm (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 2nd, 2006
5:46 pm	ugh. fuck. colby needs to leave me the crap alone. this is getting annoying now. ps. I dont like parties. Current Mood: PISSED Current Music: bedlight for blue eyes (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
5:06 pm	fuck aids. greekstock on friday powerhouse on saturday church on sunday I think I'm going over to this guys house to hang out after church sunday. I know he's going to ask me out...but I wont say yes. I dont think that I am over andy. I dont really like kaleb. We are totally different people. There are a few other guys in the picture...but not worthy of talking about yet. haha. my eyes are burning. fuck lotion. It got in my eyes. dangit. I need to get over andy. Like NOW. ergh. boys are lame. too bad I love him. Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: panic at the fucking disco - I HATE THEM...MIX CD. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 26th, 2006
8:59 pm	hottie mc hott face I like too many boys. This is starting to become a problem. and HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY CURTIS. yea I dont know if I'll post in the morning...so there ya go kiddo. Current Music: as cities burn (Comment on this)
1:12 pm	Yea I've got a problem I think I have a problem of stealing guys from people. I promise that I dont mean to. This has happend quite a few times. Today Shaena got mad at me cause I kissed Caleb. (uhh not caleb haney...this guy doesnt go to our school) well anyways. I didnt know that she liked him. He didnt seem like he liked her while he was around me. lol. But yea. I guess she found out about it somehow. She was silent the whole way home. I didnt even know that she liked him. She never told me. I'm not a mindreader. Josh was with his new girlfriend so I decided to move on. And caleb just happend to be there. So I dont know of I like him or not. well I do like him, but I dont know if I should. Cause she does. But it isnt like I can help who likes him or who he likes. I cant help that at all. ugh. I think I am going to dispose of all of the girls that I am friends with. They cause alot of drama. I'm just trying to get over Andy. I really liked him. Which sucks for me now. So Iduno. Everyone told me to find someone new. And I did. The same guy that one of my friends liked. Ugh. This is lame. I didnt know we were going to kiss. It just happend. I got scared and walked away. I dont like feelings. They always mess things up. I wish I was heartless. haha. I'm still home alone. Its gay. But I went to church even though nana said not to leave. She's still not home. I let the fireplace go out cause I dont know how to keep the fan thing going. haha. My xanga buddy Drew Wilson called me last night. We talked for a while. Yup yup. It was fun. Current Music: Cartel - the minstrel's prayer (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 25th, 2006
7:06 pm	Yea so I'm home alone tonight. How lame. Grandparents went to Heber Springs to look for swans. Haha I didnt want to go. So I have to stay home and clean the house and I cant go to church in the morning or leave the house. Too bad she didnt ever teach me how to cook cause now I'm hungry and I dont wanna burn the house down. haha. If you know how to cook and want to come over that would be nice. ERgh. I like being home alone...but I dont like cleaning. This is my first time alone all night. Cause last time, I had someone stay with me. ergh. No scary movies for me. haha. but yea. Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: cartel (Comment on this)
Friday, February 17th, 2006
10:18 pm	I've discovered a new feeling. I dont like it. Its the feeling that you get when you love someone... that doesnt love you. but says that they do. Its not nice. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
2:16 pm	student life = canceled for us. how lame. SHOW. SATURDAY. where: YOUTH CENTER ON BURKE AVE. when: SATURDAY AT 7 who: AFTER THE ALTER, IN MEMORY OF ME, A STUDY IN SCARLET, THIS WORLD THIS GRAVE why: HARDCORE CHRISTIAN, plus, I'll be there. Im excited. I love those guys so much. I dont get to see them alot either. So I cant wait. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: Saosin (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 15th, 2006
5:36 pm	The FCCLA thing was pretty damn fun! There was a ghetto dance off. 2 white girls and 7 black girls and 1 black boy. 1 of the white girls was my friend Amy from Manila. It was soo funny, I looked up from my cell and I see amy booty poppin! I died laughing. It was great. I almost started a fight with Kayla Stratford today. That girl needs to learn to keep her clothes up. Its skanky. Im going to church real soon. Im excited. Yup. I got called scene today. I almost beat the crap out of that kid. NEVER CALL ME SCENE. Unless you know me, and are joking. Im not scene nor do I ever want to be. mkay? good. hmm. this 7th grade mexican kid names angel told me that he liked my shirt and that it was a good band. hehe people are starting to get good taste in music at v.v.h.s. now a days. I was wearing an It Dies Today shirt. yup yup saw em in Memphis. Current Mood: `` Current Music: Bleeding Through = OLD STUFF CAUSE THE NEW STUFF ISNT GREAT (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 12th, 2006
4:40 pm	Yea so mom is sick again. I cried a bunch during church. I pretty much love my friends. I took a real long nap when I got home. Called Josh(aka nick)lol. Im supposed to clean my room and read my book for the book test in english tomarrow. But I'm not going to. lol. How rebelious? haha. ATTENTION. BIG SHOW. HARDCORE. IN JONESBORO. where: at the grace church place right next to the old ghostown and jd's body arts on nettleton. who: a study in scarlet, in memory of me, after the alter, this world this grave. cost: 2 dollars. when: saturday at 8. I think it opens at 7 though. Student Life is on Friday and saturday. I'm kinda excited. We get to stay in a hotel and stuff. As soon as we get back into jonesboro I have to go home and get ready for the powerhouse show. Yay. I cant wait. I'm so excited to see the guys again. I love em. Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: Job For A Cowboy (4 Comments |Comment on this)